This is MY Story…This is MY Song…

Having recently “officially retired” from a lifetime of ministry in the church (first as a musician and Bible teacher and later as ordained clergy), I often spend time with the LORD in reflection mode.  I believe the Holy Spirit has me to reflect on the paths I have already travelled in order that I might learn from them for the dual purpose of 1) sharing what I have learned and 2) preparing me for the road that yet lies before me.

I have been led to share these reflections with those who might be interested in gleaning some small nugget from what I have learned (and am still learning) about living this gift, the present, the gift we call LIFE.  And I think of my life in terms of not just an ordinary, mundane existence, but rather as a life “showered with grace” in order that that life might ‘shower’ other lives.

I am also led to share from MY vantage point–the perspective of a single parent, a church musician, a Bible study teacher, a Women’s prayer retreat coordinator/leader, and an ordained pastor/Preacher woman of African descent…in other words,

This is MY Story…This is MY Song…   

Let’s consider what the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy: “. . . I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also” (2 Timothy 1:5 AKJV).

Timothy’s grandmother had this faith and was able to pass it on to her daughter, who then passed it on to Timothy. In this example, the faith of God was passed down through at least three generations.

My friend and highly respected colleague, Safiyah Fosua, aka Andrea Bishop, says in her devotional book, Mother Wit, and I quote: “whenever I think of my grandmomma, I am reminded to read my Bible.  And whenever I talk to my momma, Jesus’ name always seems to come up in the conversation.  Living in the faith has become an expected norm, because of the faith of my foremothers.  I, too, am a mother.  I pray that my faith will also rub off on my children in permanent ways. As parents, we can only guess about those aspects of our faith that might impact our children.” (Fosua, Safiyah, Mother Wit:  365 Meditations for African-American Women, Abingdon Press, 1996)

As a child, matter of fact, as a fetus, I was taken to church.  For as long as I can remember the church has been an integral part of my life.  In my formative years, the church of my upbringing was across the street from our home (and remains there to this day), so there was no excuse for not getting there…on the regular, as was the discipline, example, and mandate of my parents and grandmother.

I was privileged to be born into a loving family that sought to live an active faith in THE ONE TRUE GOD.  He was truly an honored guest in our home.  My mother was the youngest child, so when she and my dad married, they lived with my widow-grandmother; and when they built their first home, they brought my grandmother with them. My grandmother lived with us all the years I lived in my parents’ home and beyond until God called her home. (Back then sociologists coined that living arrangement an extended family). I grew up, in essence with three parents, however, my grandmother only made decisions when she was the present adult, which was most of the time, because both of my parents worked. One of the strong characteristics in my family was faith in God. In the church of my upbringing, there is one woman who stands out as the mother.  She was the spiritual mother to everyone in this church, matter of fact, the neighborhood.  I remember resenting everybody referring to my “Mama” (the name we called her) as “Mama Taylor.”  I now understand that was part of God’s intended purpose for our little church home and for my grandmother during that period of time.  And the fact that God chose to form my faith in the cocoon of this PERFECTLY imperfect home across the street from the church is, to me, indicative of the Sovereignty of our God.  What I believe God wants me to convey is that if I had been given the opportunity to choose my family, I would have chosen the one I was given.

It has been said that the Apostle Paul understands that there is no inherent conflict between personal and communal aspects of faith. In other words, No human being is born an orphan. We are all born into a family. The Bantus of South Africa say, Umuntu, ngamuntu, ngabantu—a person is a person because of other persons. None of us is here today without someone else having paved the way for us. That’s why Paul affirms Timothy’s faith by recalling his first community of faith—his PERFECTLY imperfect home. His grandmother and his mother–Lois and Eunice.  And, even though the community of faith that is the focus of this post is my family of origin, you will see in the weeks and months and years ahead that because of that formative community of faith, I (and my siblings) was introduced to the expanded community of faith called the Church, the Body of Christ.

The impetus for sharing this pathway is song…sacred song…music that has helped to shape my life in grace.  I have chosen to begin by lifting the songs that make up the “hymnody of the Church.”  In an age that we have heard coined as the Post-Christian age, we see the Church giving up so many traditions and customs.  The very things that have survived and helped us, as God’s people, to relate to Him and His will in our lives.  We now experience them being eliminated from the practices of worship and teaching in the Church. While I realize that some things are simply matters of preference and have no authentic connection to “worship in spirit and in truth,” I contend that hymns are not in this category.  And therefore, I find this elimination sad and disheartening.  To that end, I write…

I think it fitting to begin this path with the hymn that was favored by my grandmother.  Her favorite hymn, Close to Thee, has likewise become a favorite of mine.

Allow me to briefly share the origin of this hymn; the lyrics were penned by the late Frances Jane ‘Fanny’ J. Crosby  (March 24, 1820-February 12, 1915).  (Incidentally, she was born exactly 70 years to the day before my grandmother).

“Silas Vail was a hatter by trade, but writing tunes for gospel songs was a steady avocation. There are two slightly different stories as to the origin of this lovely song. Ira Sankey, in his volume My Life and the Story of the Gospel Songs recalls: ‘Silas J. Vail, having composed this tune, brought it to Fanny Crosby, and requested her to write the words for it. As he was playing it for her on the piano, she said, ‘That refrain says “Close to Thee, close to Thee.”’ Mr. Vail said that was true, and it was agreed that it should be a hymn entitled Close to Thee.’  But the author herself originally called the song “Christ, the Portion of His People.” And Fanny Crosby, in her book Memories of Eighty Years, says:  ‘Toward the close of a day in the year 1874, I was sitting in my room thinking of the nearness of God through Christ as the constant companion of my pilgrim journey, when my heart burst out with the words.’  It’s possible that there is a way these two stories are both correct to some degree. Then again, Fanny having written between 8,500 and 9,000 songs, sometimes even forgot that she’d written a particular piece. But that is not as important as the beautiful wedding of heartwarming words with a fitting tune.” (Cottrill, Robert, Wordwise Hymns:  Hymns their History and Meaning, 2012)

HOW I HAVE BEEN SHAPED BY THIS SONG:

CLOSE TO THEE:  As a pianist, many songs that I have played in the Church have had a very classical music style on the score.  Serving in the church of my origin, this particular song was in a favorite key in the Gospel Pearls and in that tradition, it was sung and played as a slightly longer-metered hymn which the pianist embellished, causing it to sound different than when played directly from the page.  Many songs that  we will peruse here will have musical scores that are not my favorites, however, this song, Close to Thee, is both lyrically and musically among my favorites.  All along my pilgrim journey, Savior, let me walk with Thee!

In my memory, I can hear my grandmother from the kitchen, stirring a pot on the stove or from the ironing board in the den, singing these words:   All along my pilgrim journey, Savior, let me walk with Thee. It was usually followed by a “Yes Sir–please Master, let me walk close to Thee.”   That memory is so vivid!  You see, even though my parents were young and busy with trying to provide in those early days, Jesus was always part of the conversation in our home, and then, largely because of my grandmother.

On my journey this song has served as a reminder for me to stay connected to my Savior.  This song has shaped the most important relationship in my life…my personal relationship with my Savior!  Even during those times when I was seeking other gods, I was always drawn back to the arms of my LORD and Savior!  He stayed close to me, even during those times when I was not seeking closeness to Him!

If I have had any success, especially in relationships in this life, it is in direct correlation of how close my relationship with Christ was at the time.  There have been those times where it was evident in my personal relationships that my relationship with Christ was suffering.   We love because God first loved us.  If anyone says, I love God, and hates a brother or sister, he is a liar, because the person who doesn’t love a brother or sister who can be seen can’t love God, who can’t be seen.  This commandment we have from him: Those who claim to love God ought to love their brother and sister also (1 John 4:19-21 CEB).

On so many levels, Mama modeled staying close to Christ for me.  With only a seventh grade education, she understood the importance of being close to Christ.  I was privy to her reading the Bible at different intervals throughout the day and was aware that she was comprehending what she read because she was able to tell you what the LORD was saying to her through His Word.  It was as though she picked it up whenever she needed to hear from Him!   Oftentimes throughout the day we would witness her just talking to Jesus or praising Him with a song or a shout.  I marveled at her ability, and have come to realize that it was the Holy Spirit revealing the wonders of God to her, but it was because she stayed close!  All along my pilgrim journey, Savior, let me walk with Thee!

I am aware of how many more advantages I have been blessed to have than she had and I realize that more is required of me because of that.  As I continue maturing in my faith, I know beyond any shadow of doubt that each and every day must be spent seeking His Presence and even, being aware of His Presence when I am not seeking it–knowing that Christ alone is my portion–EVERYTHING I NEED.  Thanks, Mama, for teaching me the importance of staying close to the LORD…for teaching me that living daily close to Jesus is all about transcendence in my thoughts and actions.  It is Heaven right here on earth!!! Living close to Jesus helps me see all people, situations, and relationships with His eyes–His heart!!  All along my pilgrim journey, Savior, let me walk with Thee!

Thou my everlasting portion,
More than friend or life to me,
All along my pilgrim journey,
Savior, let me walk with Thee.
Refrain 1:
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Close to Thee, close to Thee;
All along my pilgrim journey,
Savior, let me walk with Thee.

Not for ease or worldly pleasure,
Nor for fame my prayer shall be;
Gladly will I toil and suffer,
Only let me walk with Thee.
Refrain 2:
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Gladly will I toil and suffer,
Only let me walk with Thee.

Lead me through the vale of shadows,
Bear me o’er life’s fitful sea;
Then the gate of life eternal
May I enter, Lord, with Thee.
Refrain 3:
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Then the gate of life eternal
May I enter, Lord, with Thee. (PUBLIC DOMAIN)